My Musings

All life's about.

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Monday, 23 January 2012

An Inconclusive piece!

"Husbands are scarce" ," I can't find a woman to marry". I hear statements along these lines all the time and yet, weekend after weekend, the roads are flooded with "about to wed" cars, or I'm attending a friend's wedding, buying one gold and burgundy aso-ebi or a blue one. Why then do we keep saying  "no husband, no wife for market" ? Who then are the people getting married to? Or dare I say "what then"?

The really interesting thing is most of the weddings I have seen in recent times have been of relatively young people, with the females usually between the ages 22- 25 and the men a couple of years older. Now, this has me wondering- what is the ideal age for a woman/man to get married? What qualifies her/him as being ready? Are we to believe there is no minimum age for marriage in these modern times? Are the people who get married early ready for the "marriage" and not just the fancy wedding ceremony which really is just that- a ceremony? Aside from social pressure (which technically, should not be an issue for a 22 year old female or any female at that) and the only too frequently used word "love", what motivates people to enter into marriage especially at an early age? Bearing in mind the rising rate of divorce , what keeps the ones who remain married together? A lack of a better option?
This is a rather inconclusive piece. I know not the answers to these questions. Help me!

Saturday, 10 December 2011

The very thought worries me!!!

Today,I think I heard the dumbest thing yet this year. I was so shocked at the absolute lack of common sense on public display I very nearly called the fellow to order but for fear of my life ( you will see why soon) I quietly quickened my steps and went on my way. Here's what I heard;

Two men were walking along the road and one of them brought up the Boko Haram issue. After a bit of argument, one said " The government of Nigeria doesn't understand Nigerians. For instance, Boko Haram is fighting against western education in Nigeria and all Nigerians are supposed to join in the fight!! Western education has had no positive impact in the life of the common man! All of Nigeria should join Boko Haram in its fight!!" 

My jaw literally hit the dusty ,harmattan floor at the level of "mumuness".(I'm sure you see now why quickly walking away was a seriously wise decision. Couldn't be too sure if homeboy was packing something beneath his shirt) . How does one think that way? How does any sane person believe such horrid destruction is going to bring about any solution let alone want to be a part of it? And really," western education has added no value to the common man????". Is that statement based on fact or fiction? Not to say western education is the sure or only way to success but would it not be true to say that it does have its very positive uses?

If even one more Nigerian has the same ideas as the man above,then we have a more serious disease than we know. Heaven help us!!!

WHY ARE NIGERIANS QUICK TO CONDEMN ALL THINGS NIGERIAN?  I have been taking a few training courses in the past few weeks and I have had different instructors; one Nigerian, one white American. During a short break a few days ago, a couple of  "lunch mates" decided it would be really cool to trash the Nigerian facilitator and sing about how great an instructor the white guy was. There was talk of how many of them would have made "A" grades in school if they had had him as their instructor. Then I asked "what is the basis of this comparism"? "Because he is white" , they replied. I felt like I had been knocked over the head with a hoe!!

Why does a person's skin colour have to be a basis for judgement on intelligence and efficiency? You are either good at what you do or you are not, be you black,white,green,orange or magenta!! I am no racist, but I don't hear any white people saying blacks are better than they are so why on earth do many Nigerians blindly jump to the conclusion that the white skin makes for a better person than the black skin? I like the black instructor's methods as much as the white instructor's, and if any comparisms were to be made, I'd like to think we could be wise enough to make those comparisms based on genuine substance.

This is just one case out of hundreds that I have witnessed. What is the cause of this seeming lack of value for ones' self Nigerians have? Do we blame this on our "leaders" ? On ourselves? On Nigeria? It kills me to see and hear these things especially from people who could be considered literate and "enlightened". A little reagard and self respect goes a long way. I have come to realise that people will call you what you wish them to call you. If you call your dog Bingo, Bingo all your neighbours shall call it. If you call yourself "Valueless", Valueless your neighbours shall call you!

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Fashion Unconscious 1

I saw this female recently and as usual I got angry. Here's why; she was dressed VERY inappropriately!! I said "inappropriately" not "indecently". There's such a thing as "body type"- what style of clothes,shoes or hair fit. For instance, if you have "not too good" legs, why expose them constantly?  If u have broad shoulders and narrow hips, what on earth are you doing in a pencil skirt and a very fitted shirt? There's a huge difference between being confident and comfortable with one's body and having no idea what looks good on you, in other words, being a JOKER! Some might argue that it's their own personal sense of style . Well dear, TOO BAD!!! 

There are things that fit and things that just do not! (I cant emphasize it enough).No offence meant to my lovely female folk,but dang!!! Do you have a mirror?  Or do you have friends who do not like you and ooh and aah over you even when they know you look no where near an "ooh" let alone an "aah" . I assume we all have parts of our bodies we like less than the others.I certainly do.The idea is to down play the negative and enhance the positive. If the styles and patterns of clothes in a season do not fit,DO NOT WEAR THEM! It's the trend does not necessarily mean you will look trendy in it.Skinny jeans and jeggings aren't meant for all,neither are mini dresses .There's something for every one!


Love,
Koko.

Thursday, 18 August 2011

Disney Lied !!!

Fairy tales are one of my favourite things to watch. I have seen a countless number of them,  from Cinderella to Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Enchanted, Pocahontas,The Little Mermaid...Oh love, cherish me!!!
There's a common end to all these tales -A happy ending! Happily ever after! When I watch them,it reaffirms my belief in romance and true love and happiness and peace and goodness and....*pheeeww*  But then,I turn off my TV and reality hits (again).

Why is the reality of romance not nearly as glorious as what Disney has got us believing ? I think Disney lied! I don't see that many Jasmines and Aladdins taking their carpets for spins over 3rd Mainland Bridge, nor do I see Prince Philip slaying the dragon to lovingly rouse Princess Aurora from her hundred-year slumber. Shall I blame this on the presence of Maleficient the witch? I think not.

The girls are always perfect; dainty ,soft-spoken beauties with clear skin. Not even one pimple! Ah!! That is just serious "ojoro" !They get their charming, handsome,rich, loving, caring princes. Even the Beast ,despite being a beast, was very wealthy and he didn't stay a beast! He got very handsome after dear Belle wept all over him (*rolling eyes* don't I just wish it were that easy. I have a store of tears-salty and sugary too. All I need now is some magic)!

Find me a magic wand and a couple of fairies!!!

Monday, 8 August 2011

TO BE 5 AGAIN

Today, I got a call  from one of my BFFs and we spoke at length about everything from guys,to family , to jobs, to marriage...even other friends! Each topic in itself is inexhaustible as while you are trying to understand one and deal with it, the other is sitting on your back awaiting its turn to cause you headache! Assuming you are lucky enough to not have them all sitting on your head at the same time o.

I concluded that I have got to find some wise old wizard to cast a spell on me that I may return to being 5 years old again (blame this on season 1 of LEGEND OF THE SEEKER and 3 of MERLIN). But really, I think life was much easier way back when my most important worries were what my mum would make for dinner, what cartoon I liked best, how to get the bigger portion of the meat when I shared with my sister!  Not how to pay bills, handle a difficult boss, find "Mr Right"! *sigh* oh what I wouldn't give to be just that age again.

I want to dance naked in the rain again!! Play with dolls and stuff grass in their open,plastic mouths, quarrel with a classmate and be over it seconds! I want to buy lolli, and baba dudu, and "ice cream". I want to play "mummy and daddy" (innocently ooooo!!), play suwe and 10 10, tinko tinko and mr macaroni .I want to make babies from sheets from my 2A and 2D notebooks!
Ahhhhh...to be 5 again...The simplicity we probably all took for granted because we didn't understand that we'd wish for those days again. I love my life but to be a child again,even for one day, I'd dash you my bb and laptop sef!

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Labour Vs Miracles

Hello dolls. I’m sorry I have not been here in a while. Been rather busy. Ok, I lied. Partially. I have not had too much to say of late. I think my mind was overloaded and had to reboot. Anyway, here I am again. I recently had the privilege of listening to a powerful speaker talk about labor and the dignity to be found in it and after some minutes of listening to him, he had reaffirmed what I already knew – WORK FOR WHAT YOU WANT!  (It did not hurt in the least to be reminded of this though).
Well, it got me thinking again of how many of us hope for “miracles” to happen in our lives while warm our benches. Life doesn’t work like that, I have come to realize. One has got to get up and do something about his or her life to make it how they want it be. In earnest, it’s a daunting task; what with all the “negative forces” all over the place. “Negative forces” here could be the socio-economic climate, political, emotional, mental, physical or spiritual state. It could be anything that stands in the way of what you want! It’s left for you to get up and move and if these forces succeed in knocking you down a time or ten, you have got to get back up and keep going!! That’s the sure fire way to get what you want. This I know from experience.
Twiddling your thumbs and waiting for miracles does not fetch you those miracles. Doing something that is in line with the miracles you want is the first and most critical step towards getting it. We all have varying wants and needs. They do not necessarily have to be financial- they could be physical, emotional or any other “al” possible, but you have to up and do something about it first and then God will make those miracles happen for you.
PS. Even I know that most things are easier said than done, this one included (the voice of experience again), but the alternative is no alternative at all, if you ask me.
We’ve got to make things happen for ourselves now!

Love,

Koko.